The Dreaded "P" Question

I suppose it could be worse.
It could be the "when are you due?" question.

Honestly, I get the "P" question too often. But, I suppose, after 3 kids, the body is supposed to show evidence of child bearing, right? So, the most recent conversation went down like this...

I'm at the water park with my kids and a girlfriend and one very nice lady I've met for the first time. I'm wearing my bikini, not much place to hide there. I'll refer to her as Woman A.

Woman A turns to me and says, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way..."

Internal Dialogue:
Oh great, she's going to ask me the "P" question.

Woman A: Are you pregnant?

Internal Dialogue: Yep, there it is.

Me: No...I know, I just look pregnant.

Woman A (obviously embarrassed by her faux pas, tries to recover): No, well, you're just so thin and you have a little belly, you know? But lucky you, you don't have any stretch marks!

Internal Dialogue: Well, at least she's trying...

Me: I know, I got lucky. That's probably why I have a little belly, since I didn't get any stretch marks, I had to get something.

Woman A: Well, at least you don't have belly fat.

Me: Well, actually I do have some, but that's okay. My body is what it is, so...

Sadly, I have experienced the "P" question many times. Once was at Xavier's grandma's 100th birthday party. I wore a body hugging dress. To my horror, my father-in-law came up to me with one of his female relatives in tow, with a big slightly drunken smile on his face and loudly exclaimed in front of the entire party:
"MY COUSIN AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU LOOK IN THAT DRESS. YOU HAVE QUITE A BELLY...SO, IS THERE A BABY IN THERE?
It was obvious, my father-in-law proudly and astutely believed he had unearthed a secret.

Me: "Well, Daniel, no. I just look pregnant."

Daniel (Obviously did not believe me, thought I was being coy): "You are expecting, aren't you?"

Me: "Daniel, if I was a few months pregnant, I wouldn't be able to be here, I'd be at home vomiting into a toilet."

Daniel: "Oh"

I felt the need to explain
Me: "After Nico was born, I got an IUD and immediately afterward, my stomach popped out. It has never gone back down, I need to get this thing removed."

Daniel: "Oh, okay, sorry."

Me: "No problem, I know I look pregnant, I don't blame you for asking, I would also ask, myself."

Problem is: Have since removed the IUD and still getting the "P" question. However, there is a remarkable difference, now instead of looking 3 mos pregnant, I look about 1.5 mos. I don't think the "P" question will ever stop.

Went to the gynecologist and she told me I was crazy and that it was all in my head. I lined up sideways and said, "look at my stomach, that's not normal." She said it is a medical mystery. She said I'm "lucky considering" and that it could be worse. She listed off a slew of things I've never even heard of (after effects of child birth) such as hanging lower belly fat or something like that?! I thought, I'll never complain again. She said she can't imagine my IUD affecting my body in the way I'm insisting it has. She said, "maybe it's gas."
"So, I've been bloated from gas for 4 yrs? Don't you think if it were gas I'd just fart?"
She checked, not gas. So, after IUD removal, stomach went down noticeably within 48 hrs.  I'm still happy to have my body back, even if it's still with a belly, at least I know it's rightfully mine.