There was some question in the last blog why I didn't mention Nikki. Oops, I kinda forgot, so I'll give you a little more updated info this time around.
Yesterday, Xavier got his exit lay-off interview. He got nothing special and yes, he's going to lose his pension. That makes me the angriest. We have to stay until Nov 2, 2009 in order to get that pension vested, and yes it is a lot of money. No, they will not give him the pension he has earned up till now. Next question, how do we get the most amount of money we can? Option 1: He walks away. They pay 3 mos notice, which he will have to work every day during those 3 months and walk away with a small lump sum of cash and then go directly onto unemployment. Option 2: He walks away. They pay a smaller lump sum, forego the 3 mos pay (I think) and goes directly into the transfer company, where he will receive retraining if he needs it and help for re-employment and will stay in this transfer company for up to 6 mos with 80% of his net income, then if he doesn't find a job, he will go onto unemployment. If he does find a job, then he will receive 20% of his net income for the remaining time he would have been with the transfer company. Option 3: Fight. He will get no money, not sure if he will be able to go onto unemployment and will sue the company to keep his job. Suing takes an avg 14 mos in Germany and in the end he may or may not win. Option 4: Fight. Sue. But during the suing process Xavier will have to go to work and in the end he may or may not win and he will get layed off again the first chance they have. Option 5: Our preferred: Fight. Sue the company. Company keeps him home but with his full salary. The suing takes us past our date of Nov 2, 2009 upon which the pension will be vested by law, then they may offer another severance package for Xavier to walk, another lump sum which he will take and leave the company. During the time he is home, he can look for other jobs or even better, research and get set up to start his own company.
Complications: Company might go bankrupt before Nov 2, 2009. Next week there will be a meeting and we'll find out if Saxonia (German govt) will pay Qimonda money to keep it afloat. Currently, Qimonda only has enough money to pay people through March 2009. If that's the case, why aren't more people being layed off? Only 2 out of Xavier's dept of 14 are being layed off.
Xavier has until next week to accept the severance package. Xavier is upset because there are supposed to be laws protecting people supporting families and Xavier has 3 small children. About 1/2 his dept are single. Xavier's lawyer says he has a very good case to fight. Next week, we'll find out if the German govt is going to bail out Qimonda. That's what will make our decision. If they get bailed out, we will fight only if Xavier will be allowed to get paid during the fight (no unemployment). A judge decides that before you start the law suit. You file a petition and it takes 2 weeks for a judge to say yay or nay to remain working for the company during the law suit. We feel in our souls that we need to fight this one. There is a time to learn how to fight and experience fighting. I think this is it. Our goal is to 1: buy time in order to both look and find a job 2: get our pension that was part of the original negotiation when Xavier was first hired. Xavier has been looking for jobs now for about 3 mos and hasn't found anything yet. He is worried about having to take a pay cut and not being able to find a job before money runs out.
Having children makes everything much more complicated. The kids are finally stable and in a good situation. They go to a great kindergarten and uprooting them again will hurt Anais badly, I think. We have very little desire to uproot again. The mere thought just gives me stress. Moving to Germany has been one of the WORST experiences of my life. I know what it means now to do it again and I really don'T want to. There is good and bad about every country, but moving from one country to the next is so daunting. In all honesty, I have much less complaints about Germany, than I do about the US. Our neighbors in Austin were a surrogate family for me and moving away from them hurt me the most. I cannot get close to anyone here because of the language barrier. It is very isolating. I'm not sure what would make me happy anymore. I feel as though travelling has made me completely spoiled and now I'm too exigent where there is no perfect fit. Family, ocean, mtns, sandy beach, nature, sunshine, good food, good social, 6 weeks vacation, good schools, excellent cheap kindergarten, good health, low cost of living, nice affordable house, capacity to have an actual retirement at 60, quick access to my family in Chicago and Xavier's family in France. Oh, and being able to communicate would be nice. If any of you know the answer to this, please let me know. We also want to raise the kids in a French/English school environment. Germany fits into many of those criterion.
Anais is now requesting to watch our American movies and cartoons in German and when she plays make-believe by herself, she speaks in German. I guess that's normal. I've learned that my children's capacity to socialize is directly related to my capacity to socialize, which I have been doing very poorly since we've been here. I have to make an effort now to socialize with specific friends of my children and their parents. I don't make much effort currently and that is my fault. I need to have goals to invite a kid for each of mine over to our house 1X a week. Austin seems to have tons of friends in kindergarten, which surprises me. He seems very popular, especially with the girls. It makes me feel very good and very proud.
We went to a party last sunday at one of Xavier's french friend's house. He is divorced and came to germany to escape his meltdown with his wife. Anyway his kids are already grown and he has another french girlfriend whose in the same situation roughly as he his. Anyway he saw Xavier Monday after the party and told Xavier that I was a great mom and really stable emotionally and with my head in the right place. I think that is the greatest compliment I've had since I can remember. As parents we do our best, but we're always afraid of really screwing up our kids or hurting them unintentionally. I love my family very much and they are the most important in my life. I just want everyone to be well-rounded, happy and healthy. I think when you are well-rounded, then you will be healthy and happy. It's hard to maintain balance. We struggle with that all the time.
Other family news: Anais joined the choir at kindergarten. I think she will be singing in a X-mas concert at the school on Dec 18. I signed both kids up yesterday to bake x-mas cookies at the school. They seemed to really enjoy that. The kindergarten also has a kid parlament where each group has representatives that vote representing the children's interests. It's a nice idea, but I have no idea how it actually works.
Nikki is totally huge. He must weigh now at least 8 kilos. He'll turn 6 mos on the 8th of Dec and is already wearing clothes for a 12 month old, but that might be deceiving because my dryer shrinks everything. I have to buy 1-2 shirt sizes bigger for all the kids, in order for them to be shrunk to the right size for the kids. Nikki laughs a lot and eats a lot. I give him solid dinners now at night. I read Anais a story last night in bed and Nikki seemed to enjoy it more than Anais. He was touching all over the book, really looking at the pictures and trying to eat it. He can grab things very well now and holds stuff in his hands. He can grab his pacifier and put it into his mouth. He seems to be able to express himself pretty well. I believe he tries to say mama. When he cries for me, sometimes he says ma ma ma ma. I think he is beautiful and very smart. He loves his bath and adores being taken care of by both Anais and Austin. Anais gives Nikki lots of attention. She helps me feed him at night and likes to take his bath with him. She sits next to him in the car and is patient when he cries, whereas Austin yells "stop crying" at Nikki. Nikki plays with toys now. If they light up and make noise, he's very happy. He enjoys his walker and is just learning to move forwards instead of just backwards. I think he is very smart. When I took him into the doctor for his second set of shots, he laid on the bed and took one look at the doctor and immediately started crying. It appeared as though he knew what was coming. Last time we went to the doctor, Anais had a 5 yr development check-up. The doctor asked Anais to hop sideways back and forth over a line on the floor and she started hopping to show what she wanted Anais to do. I was sitting in the chair with Nikki on my lap and he just started cracking up when he saw the doctor hop back and forth over this line. It was hilarious. He was at most 5 mos old at the time. It was sweet. We all had a good laugh.
I think that's it for news here. The English class in already filled to start next month. I asked to have an option for a third class. I want all kids to have the option to take the English class. I'm afraid people won't push because it's already full. The list was full within the first week it got posted. I ordered a book yesterday to help me with this class. We'll see if it's any good. My syllabus is all set from last year. I might try to vary it a bit this yr.
I hope you are all well for x-mas and the new year. We are staying home this yr in an intimate family set up. Xavier's parents wanted us to come to Maubeuge. Xavier's sister was going there as well the day after x-mas. We cannot handle the stress of all those people in one house. We cannot afford a Gite this yr so we would have to stay there. I cannot handle my in-laws fighting and Daniel getting drunk. Xavier agreed it would be too stressful. We decided to stay here. I think his parents are angry so they don't want to come here, they would rather stay in Maubeuge alone if that ends up being the case. When they come here the same issues just extend under our roof. Yvette takes control of my kitchen and she cooks great, but then we're forced to spend every bloody day waiting on Yvette to cook. She never cooks on time and the kids are always hungry. We end up eating btw 1-2 PM. Dinner is at earliest 7 PM. It's a nightmare. The kids need to be in bed by 7:30PM in order to get up on time for school. Our schedule gets all screwed up because we have to go on Yvette's schedule. I've tried to make her comply to ours, but it ends up being all out war and in the end it just isn't worth the fight. I still lose the fight in my own home anyway. I've learned a long time ago to give up control right away when Yvette comes. It's the easiest way to go. When the kids get hungry, I send them to Yvette. IF she wants to cook twice because she won't eat at the kid's schedule, that's her problem. I refuse to cook twice. That was the source of one of our first wars. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother-in-law as much as a daughter-in-law can. I appreciate her good qualities and we actually do get along. However, not sure how much that is saying. If I am capable of getting along with Anglika (even after months of serious dislike), the teacher of the kids pre-school in Linden, a Bavarian village, then as far as I'm concerned, I can get along with just about anyone. It was hard to get along and to accept Angelika for all her ignorance and bull-headedness.
I hope all of you have a wonderful x-mas. If anyone feels like popping over to Munich over the holidays let us know. We will surely be here.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Germany News Nov 2008
Hello everyone. I decided to try the blog thing again for news so that everyone won't have to be tortured into reading too much if they don't want to.
Kid news:
Austin and Anais are both in kindergarten. Austin is doing fine. He has some friends and the teachers tell me he is both very sweet and very bright. He understands a fair amt of German already after only 2 months and he started speaking German the first day. I was pretty impressed. Anais is still Anais. She is doing well also. She has a German class at kindergarten 1X week with other foreign kids by an actual school teacher to get her German up to speed. Anais is in her last year of kindergarten and this is called a Vorschules Kind, before school child. She is learning numbers and shapes and still has speech therapy 1X week and has special play session with a teacher again for German learning 1X week. Austin has the same as Anais, but sees 2 speech therapists and has speech therapy 2X week, but no special German learning for 1st grade prep. We are not sure where to put Anais for school next year. We have to get this going now though and get our decision made. I definitely don't want her in our little local village school. I think there, they completely lack the infrastructure for our foreign kids. I admit I totally look down on the local school. It's made for farmers who have lived in these few villages generation after generation and some of whom cannot even speak proper German (they only understand their local bavarian dialect). Couple that with the local people not going far in school because you don't need much to be a farmer and that results in terror for parents like us. I think our kids would be more or less screwed in that kind of a situation with such low priorities given to education from both the families and the schools. Oye.
The kids are also in gymnastics. Anais is in actual gymnastics with the gymnastic equipment and she seems to really like it. The other one is just an age appropiate indoor physical playing for kids. Otherwise, I'm still co-chairing the international playgroup in Holzkirchen and I'll be teaching English again at the kids kindergarten. I guess it was pretty well received last year and this year they have more interest in the class. And I'm teaching English privately to an adult 1X week for spoken English on the side.
Xavier's company is beginning to tank and he will be layed off soon. He's been looking for another job, but cannot find one as of yet. The CEO and head people put this company into this situation and personally I think they should be sued by the employees and fired. They're going to push hard to get Xavier out the door first. We are going to leave, that's not a problem, but we have a lawyer and we are going to rip them apart on the way out and take as much money from them as we can. Going after Xavier first was a mistake. We have enough experience now that you don't just roll over and let yourself be abused by a company. We are going to go after the company and fight our way out the door. We don't need to stay employed by these people, afterall who wants remain on a sinking ship? But legally they have no right to get rid of Xavier now by law because he has a housewife and 3 young children. They cannot fire him or lay him off by German law. We think they are singling him out because he has a high salary. If there is too much meanness in this company, I want to meet with Xavier'S lawyer and I want to set up a law suit against Qimonda and personally against the CEO and advisory board for poor leadership and putting the company into this mess in the first place. Germans are good soldiers who always do what they are told and are very proud and who respect authority. I don't think they are much used to suing authority. They will soon get a wake up call. We have never fought before, given we have nothing to lose, we are going to go for the jugular this time around and see what happens. A lot of people get screwed out of their jobs due to poor decision making and poor leadership at the top. I think it's these people who ought to be held accountable and who should be layed off like the rest of the company.
We're not sure if we are going to try to stay in Munich or move to a new place. After much thought, our top choices are Munich, Geneva, Vancouver or Austin, maybe Denver. We'll see where xavier can find work. The banking crisis in the US has bled over to a crisis in Europe. Companies are in a panic now and there are hiring freezes everywhere. It is not a good time for looking for a new job. The recession has begun here. The next 6 mos might be very difficult for us. I am tired of this instability. One thing I've learned. The minute there is a financial crisis, all countries close down to foreign workers and save jobs only for their fellow people. Xavier being French puts him at a disadvantage everywhere outside of France and yes the US sadly is no different.
hope all of you are well. I'm thinking of everyone and miss you,
Take care, love,
Jennel
Kid news:
Austin and Anais are both in kindergarten. Austin is doing fine. He has some friends and the teachers tell me he is both very sweet and very bright. He understands a fair amt of German already after only 2 months and he started speaking German the first day. I was pretty impressed. Anais is still Anais. She is doing well also. She has a German class at kindergarten 1X week with other foreign kids by an actual school teacher to get her German up to speed. Anais is in her last year of kindergarten and this is called a Vorschules Kind, before school child. She is learning numbers and shapes and still has speech therapy 1X week and has special play session with a teacher again for German learning 1X week. Austin has the same as Anais, but sees 2 speech therapists and has speech therapy 2X week, but no special German learning for 1st grade prep. We are not sure where to put Anais for school next year. We have to get this going now though and get our decision made. I definitely don't want her in our little local village school. I think there, they completely lack the infrastructure for our foreign kids. I admit I totally look down on the local school. It's made for farmers who have lived in these few villages generation after generation and some of whom cannot even speak proper German (they only understand their local bavarian dialect). Couple that with the local people not going far in school because you don't need much to be a farmer and that results in terror for parents like us. I think our kids would be more or less screwed in that kind of a situation with such low priorities given to education from both the families and the schools. Oye.
The kids are also in gymnastics. Anais is in actual gymnastics with the gymnastic equipment and she seems to really like it. The other one is just an age appropiate indoor physical playing for kids. Otherwise, I'm still co-chairing the international playgroup in Holzkirchen and I'll be teaching English again at the kids kindergarten. I guess it was pretty well received last year and this year they have more interest in the class. And I'm teaching English privately to an adult 1X week for spoken English on the side.
Xavier's company is beginning to tank and he will be layed off soon. He's been looking for another job, but cannot find one as of yet. The CEO and head people put this company into this situation and personally I think they should be sued by the employees and fired. They're going to push hard to get Xavier out the door first. We are going to leave, that's not a problem, but we have a lawyer and we are going to rip them apart on the way out and take as much money from them as we can. Going after Xavier first was a mistake. We have enough experience now that you don't just roll over and let yourself be abused by a company. We are going to go after the company and fight our way out the door. We don't need to stay employed by these people, afterall who wants remain on a sinking ship? But legally they have no right to get rid of Xavier now by law because he has a housewife and 3 young children. They cannot fire him or lay him off by German law. We think they are singling him out because he has a high salary. If there is too much meanness in this company, I want to meet with Xavier'S lawyer and I want to set up a law suit against Qimonda and personally against the CEO and advisory board for poor leadership and putting the company into this mess in the first place. Germans are good soldiers who always do what they are told and are very proud and who respect authority. I don't think they are much used to suing authority. They will soon get a wake up call. We have never fought before, given we have nothing to lose, we are going to go for the jugular this time around and see what happens. A lot of people get screwed out of their jobs due to poor decision making and poor leadership at the top. I think it's these people who ought to be held accountable and who should be layed off like the rest of the company.
We're not sure if we are going to try to stay in Munich or move to a new place. After much thought, our top choices are Munich, Geneva, Vancouver or Austin, maybe Denver. We'll see where xavier can find work. The banking crisis in the US has bled over to a crisis in Europe. Companies are in a panic now and there are hiring freezes everywhere. It is not a good time for looking for a new job. The recession has begun here. The next 6 mos might be very difficult for us. I am tired of this instability. One thing I've learned. The minute there is a financial crisis, all countries close down to foreign workers and save jobs only for their fellow people. Xavier being French puts him at a disadvantage everywhere outside of France and yes the US sadly is no different.
hope all of you are well. I'm thinking of everyone and miss you,
Take care, love,
Jennel
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Nicolas Kenneth Pouchain: A Birth Story
As you know, Sat June 7th was Anais' 5th b-day party with her friends. I woke up around 5 AM and eventually got up at 6:30 when Austin came into my bed giving me his breakfast order of his usual "Austin want chocolate croissant." So we got up, had breakfast, I baked a cake for Anais, started picking up and cleaning the house, did laundry again to get the baby's clothes in order and everything arranged for when the baby comes. I did some last minute shopping for the goodie bags while Xavier took care of the kids that morning. I did a lot of last minute cleaning up until the first kid arrived. I was totally stressed. I had no idea how to entertain 6 little girls for 3 hrs. The weather was crap as well, rainy and cold. The girls still jumped on the trampoline thank goodness. Then Mami and Papi showed up around 5 PM. More chaos. The party went until 6 PM. The kids were thrilled, but some were terrified of my in-laws dog, Rennes. Our house was more or less trashed once again after the party, so I started to clean up some more and do more laundry and start cleaning the attic and the attic bathroom for my in-laws, while Xavier made dinner and the kids gorged themselves on candy. Then I couldn't stop cleaning, I vacuumed the attic and went down to the second floor and continued vacuuming and went down the steps until I exhausted myself around 9 PM, when we started having dinner. I wasn't hungry that night, so I just ate watermelon for dinner. My mother-in-law told me to stop cleaning because she thought I would drive myself into labor, but I couldn't let them sleep in a filthy attic, it's just not nice and Yvette should not be expected to drive 10-12 hrs only to clean her own room when she gets here. At least Xavier changed the sheets on the bed, which really helped. I went to bed around 10 PM completely tired having been going, going, going all day except for about 1/2 hr when I stopped and laid down before the party because I needed to relax and because my back was really hurting. But it felt really good psychologically to clean, so you know...
About 11:45 PM I felt 1 contraction, the baby moved, which hurt and then poof my water broke. I thought awe nuts! Any night, but tonight! I went downstairs and said to Xavier "My water just broke, we gotta go"
I knew it would happen fast and it takes about 1/2 hr drive to the hospital. I usually vomit right away so I was actually terrified of that, so we had to hustle, hustle, hustle. My bag was already in the car, but the batteries died that day on the camera during Anais' b-day party and unfortunately we didn't have any other back up batteries. Mind you nothing is open at Midnight on a Saturday night in Germany, so we can't just pop by Walgreens to get batteries. Of course the car was still filled with groceries that I bought 2 days before, but never unpacked and the front seat was filled with bags of cat litter in preparation for this big event. So here I am, water leaking out my pants, puke bucket in hand and unloading kilos of cat litter from my side of the car. Contractions haven't started yet, again thank goodness. By about Midnight, we were in the car ready to go. That's when the contractions started, mind you they STARTED at 5 min apart.
By about 12:30 AM we arrived at the hospital at the emergency entrance. Xavier dropped me off while he parked the car. A few doctors passing by wished me good luck. I sat in the only chair at the emergency entrance. In Munich you have to walk your way to the Kreißsaal (labor and delivery) on the second floor. So there we were walking through this maze, reading the signs and trying to figure out how to get to the Kreißsaal on the second floor from the emergency entrance. I didn't have my glasses on because a month ago, Austin broke them and I didn't want to wear contacts. We had to stop a few times because walking made my contractions come faster and I couldn't walk through them, they were a wee bit painful.
I guess we got to the Kreißsaal by about 12:45 AM and they set me up for a CDG for 1/2 hr to measure the contractions and the baby's heartbeat. They took out blood and set up a sack of fluids for me to take in order to get a PDA (epidural). They said I couldn't get a PDA until the blood work was done from the lab which should take about 1/2 hr (min). I figured I had time, so I wasn't too concerned and the contractions weren't that bad. My back was hurting, but it was still manageable. I also asked them to do an ultrasound to make sure the baby was still head down. Originally Nikki was breach and they manually turned him around at 36 weeks, which actually worked this time. On a Sat night if he had flipped back, I would have had to been prepped for a c-section, but he turned out to be still head down. So, about 1:15 AM or so I guess, we walked into a birthing room. I sat on this large uncomfortable bed. Laying down on my back or side made my back hurt more. Xavier put on soothing music, which actually helped and rubbed my back for me. He was an excellent labor partner. The mid wife didn't really do much. She checked me at some point and I was about 4-5 cm. Then after a few contractions, I have no idea how many, I started having some that were more severe. The last one knocked me clear off the bed. The position was too painful on the bed and I rolled off mid contraction onto the floor onto my knees. That's when I said PDA, PDA, PDA. She said this is your 3rd child, you may not have time. I was still getting the fluid in my arm and my blood work wasn't back yet. She said I have to check you. I said can you do it from this position, she told me "no." I was sort of having back to back contractions, I don't really know and I didn't want to lean back because of the back pain, but I did anyway so she could check me.
She checked me while I was on the floor and she said "you're open." I said "how much?" She said, "you're open." I said "How many centimeters?" She said, "I don't understand." I repeated, "How many centimeters?" She said "10, you can start pushing whenever you feel like it." Then she said something like, "At any rate it would take about 45 min for the anathesist to get here to give you the epidural (PDA)." I thought about it and figured pushing won't last 45 min and at least the pain will stop after the baby is out, so I might as well push, I certainly don't want to endure these kinds of contractions for another 45 min.
So, the midwife said, "Where do you want to push?" I looked around the room and they have this nifty orb like chair suspended in the air that looks like a training instruments for astronauts. I sat down on that and the midwife said, "lean back." I said, "I don't think so, that was certainly NOT comfortable." So, I got off the astronaut chair took a few steps forwards, dropped to my knees on the floor and said, "OK, I'm pushing." She said, "There?" I said, "Ja." Then she brought me this kind of stool that looks like and 18th century torture instrument. I said, "Thanks" and leaned on it. I think she expected me to sit on it. When she realized I was going to give birth on my knees, she brought over a yoga mat for me to kneel on, which was nicer than the hard floor.
I took off that little hospital gown they give you because it was in the way and started pushing. I was terrified because I'd never experience the pushing part without large quantities of narcotics, so I tried to explain this to the midwife in my terrible German, which I don't think she understood anyway, so I kind of felt on my own for the delivery. I told her I needed guidance in English because I don't know how to explain that in German, but I don't think she understood that either. When you're in labor, you don't exactly want to try to be conversing in German and her English wasn't that good, so oh well....It was kind of hard to think and express yourself in German in between contractions to communicate with the midwife.
I forgot pushing is like playing tennis and I sort of forgot to breath. The midwife was behind me trying the catch the baby as it comes out so she wasn't yelling "Breath! Breath!" at me and there was no one else in the room with us besides Xavier. So, I suppose it took about 1/2 hour to push Nicolas out. I was afraid of tearing, which I did, but couldn't feel, so that was a relief. When she was telling me to slow down or stop pushing, I was terrified I was tearing. Your instinct is to push as hard as you can with total ferocity to literally eject the baby like a projectile across the room. So to not push is next to impossible especially during a contraction. It was a pretty cool experience though and it wasn't so bad at all. When the baby finally came out, he was all blue and looked nothing like me. He looked like a mini Xavier. The first thing Xavier said was, "It's a boy." (We suspected we were having a girl.)
I assume that when you give birth, you're supposed to feel all lovey dovey, but all I really felt at first was, relief. Xavier cut the cord and held the baby first, while I climbed up on the bed to deliver the placenta. When it came out, I got to touch both sides of the placenta. That was very cool. It's not like what you would expect. It was a cool experience. I'm glad to have had it. Then they sewed me up. Again, I was terrified of the pain and yes, I did feel more than I would have liked. After about 1/2 hour Nicolas wanted to nurse, imagine that?!
As usual, Xavier and I could not agree on names and in all honesty, I never really started thinking about names, much less for a boy, so Nicolas went a day or 2 without having a name. We kept calling him Austin. It's weird to talk to your kid without having a name to call him. The good thing is, you could take a name and look at him and sometimes, some names just didn't seem to suit him.
All in all, this birth was by far the easiest I've ever had and the most enjoyable. Time passes so fast when you're in labor. It felt like I only had like 20 contractions total and the time felt the same as a Sunday morning wait at IHOP for breakfast in Austin, TX. In other words, it was nothing at all. The only thing missing was the newspaper (and a name for the kid). : )
About 11:45 PM I felt 1 contraction, the baby moved, which hurt and then poof my water broke. I thought awe nuts! Any night, but tonight! I went downstairs and said to Xavier "My water just broke, we gotta go"
I knew it would happen fast and it takes about 1/2 hr drive to the hospital. I usually vomit right away so I was actually terrified of that, so we had to hustle, hustle, hustle. My bag was already in the car, but the batteries died that day on the camera during Anais' b-day party and unfortunately we didn't have any other back up batteries. Mind you nothing is open at Midnight on a Saturday night in Germany, so we can't just pop by Walgreens to get batteries. Of course the car was still filled with groceries that I bought 2 days before, but never unpacked and the front seat was filled with bags of cat litter in preparation for this big event. So here I am, water leaking out my pants, puke bucket in hand and unloading kilos of cat litter from my side of the car. Contractions haven't started yet, again thank goodness. By about Midnight, we were in the car ready to go. That's when the contractions started, mind you they STARTED at 5 min apart.
By about 12:30 AM we arrived at the hospital at the emergency entrance. Xavier dropped me off while he parked the car. A few doctors passing by wished me good luck. I sat in the only chair at the emergency entrance. In Munich you have to walk your way to the Kreißsaal (labor and delivery) on the second floor. So there we were walking through this maze, reading the signs and trying to figure out how to get to the Kreißsaal on the second floor from the emergency entrance. I didn't have my glasses on because a month ago, Austin broke them and I didn't want to wear contacts. We had to stop a few times because walking made my contractions come faster and I couldn't walk through them, they were a wee bit painful.
I guess we got to the Kreißsaal by about 12:45 AM and they set me up for a CDG for 1/2 hr to measure the contractions and the baby's heartbeat. They took out blood and set up a sack of fluids for me to take in order to get a PDA (epidural). They said I couldn't get a PDA until the blood work was done from the lab which should take about 1/2 hr (min). I figured I had time, so I wasn't too concerned and the contractions weren't that bad. My back was hurting, but it was still manageable. I also asked them to do an ultrasound to make sure the baby was still head down. Originally Nikki was breach and they manually turned him around at 36 weeks, which actually worked this time. On a Sat night if he had flipped back, I would have had to been prepped for a c-section, but he turned out to be still head down. So, about 1:15 AM or so I guess, we walked into a birthing room. I sat on this large uncomfortable bed. Laying down on my back or side made my back hurt more. Xavier put on soothing music, which actually helped and rubbed my back for me. He was an excellent labor partner. The mid wife didn't really do much. She checked me at some point and I was about 4-5 cm. Then after a few contractions, I have no idea how many, I started having some that were more severe. The last one knocked me clear off the bed. The position was too painful on the bed and I rolled off mid contraction onto the floor onto my knees. That's when I said PDA, PDA, PDA. She said this is your 3rd child, you may not have time. I was still getting the fluid in my arm and my blood work wasn't back yet. She said I have to check you. I said can you do it from this position, she told me "no." I was sort of having back to back contractions, I don't really know and I didn't want to lean back because of the back pain, but I did anyway so she could check me.
She checked me while I was on the floor and she said "you're open." I said "how much?" She said, "you're open." I said "How many centimeters?" She said, "I don't understand." I repeated, "How many centimeters?" She said "10, you can start pushing whenever you feel like it." Then she said something like, "At any rate it would take about 45 min for the anathesist to get here to give you the epidural (PDA)." I thought about it and figured pushing won't last 45 min and at least the pain will stop after the baby is out, so I might as well push, I certainly don't want to endure these kinds of contractions for another 45 min.
So, the midwife said, "Where do you want to push?" I looked around the room and they have this nifty orb like chair suspended in the air that looks like a training instruments for astronauts. I sat down on that and the midwife said, "lean back." I said, "I don't think so, that was certainly NOT comfortable." So, I got off the astronaut chair took a few steps forwards, dropped to my knees on the floor and said, "OK, I'm pushing." She said, "There?" I said, "Ja." Then she brought me this kind of stool that looks like and 18th century torture instrument. I said, "Thanks" and leaned on it. I think she expected me to sit on it. When she realized I was going to give birth on my knees, she brought over a yoga mat for me to kneel on, which was nicer than the hard floor.
I took off that little hospital gown they give you because it was in the way and started pushing. I was terrified because I'd never experience the pushing part without large quantities of narcotics, so I tried to explain this to the midwife in my terrible German, which I don't think she understood anyway, so I kind of felt on my own for the delivery. I told her I needed guidance in English because I don't know how to explain that in German, but I don't think she understood that either. When you're in labor, you don't exactly want to try to be conversing in German and her English wasn't that good, so oh well....It was kind of hard to think and express yourself in German in between contractions to communicate with the midwife.
I forgot pushing is like playing tennis and I sort of forgot to breath. The midwife was behind me trying the catch the baby as it comes out so she wasn't yelling "Breath! Breath!" at me and there was no one else in the room with us besides Xavier. So, I suppose it took about 1/2 hour to push Nicolas out. I was afraid of tearing, which I did, but couldn't feel, so that was a relief. When she was telling me to slow down or stop pushing, I was terrified I was tearing. Your instinct is to push as hard as you can with total ferocity to literally eject the baby like a projectile across the room. So to not push is next to impossible especially during a contraction. It was a pretty cool experience though and it wasn't so bad at all. When the baby finally came out, he was all blue and looked nothing like me. He looked like a mini Xavier. The first thing Xavier said was, "It's a boy." (We suspected we were having a girl.)
I assume that when you give birth, you're supposed to feel all lovey dovey, but all I really felt at first was, relief. Xavier cut the cord and held the baby first, while I climbed up on the bed to deliver the placenta. When it came out, I got to touch both sides of the placenta. That was very cool. It's not like what you would expect. It was a cool experience. I'm glad to have had it. Then they sewed me up. Again, I was terrified of the pain and yes, I did feel more than I would have liked. After about 1/2 hour Nicolas wanted to nurse, imagine that?!
As usual, Xavier and I could not agree on names and in all honesty, I never really started thinking about names, much less for a boy, so Nicolas went a day or 2 without having a name. We kept calling him Austin. It's weird to talk to your kid without having a name to call him. The good thing is, you could take a name and look at him and sometimes, some names just didn't seem to suit him.
All in all, this birth was by far the easiest I've ever had and the most enjoyable. Time passes so fast when you're in labor. It felt like I only had like 20 contractions total and the time felt the same as a Sunday morning wait at IHOP for breakfast in Austin, TX. In other words, it was nothing at all. The only thing missing was the newspaper (and a name for the kid). : )
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