More News Germany Nov 2008

There was some question in the last blog why I didn't mention Nikki. Oops, I kinda forgot, so I'll give you a little more updated info this time around.

Yesterday, Xavier got his exit lay-off interview. He got nothing special and yes, he's going to lose his pension. That makes me the angriest. We have to stay until Nov 2, 2009 in order to get that pension vested, and yes it is a lot of money. No, they will not give him the pension he has earned up till now. Next question, how do we get the most amount of money we can? Option 1: He walks away. They pay 3 mos notice, which he will have to work every day during those 3 months and walk away with a small lump sum of cash and then go directly onto unemployment. Option 2: He walks away. They pay a smaller lump sum, forego the 3 mos pay (I think) and goes directly into the transfer company, where he will receive retraining if he needs it and help for re-employment and will stay in this transfer company for up to 6 mos with 80% of his net income, then if he doesn't find a job, he will go onto unemployment. If he does find a job, then he will receive 20% of his net income for the remaining time he would have been with the transfer company. Option 3: Fight. He will get no money, not sure if he will be able to go onto unemployment and will sue the company to keep his job. Suing takes an avg 14 mos in Germany and in the end he may or may not win. Option 4: Fight. Sue. But during the suing process Xavier will have to go to work and in the end he may or may not win and he will get layed off again the first chance they have. Option 5: Our preferred: Fight. Sue the company. Company keeps him home but with his full salary. The suing takes us past our date of Nov 2, 2009 upon which the pension will be vested by law, then they may offer another severance package for Xavier to walk, another lump sum which he will take and leave the company. During the time he is home, he can look for other jobs or even better, research and get set up to start his own company.

Complications: Company might go bankrupt before Nov 2, 2009. Next week there will be a meeting and we'll find out if Saxonia (German govt) will pay Qimonda money to keep it afloat. Currently, Qimonda only has enough money to pay people through March 2009. If that's the case, why aren't more people being layed off? Only 2 out of Xavier's dept of 14 are being layed off.

Xavier has until next week to accept the severance package. Xavier is upset because there are supposed to be laws protecting people supporting families and Xavier has 3 small children. About 1/2 his dept are single. Xavier's lawyer says he has a very good case to fight. Next week, we'll find out if the German govt is going to bail out Qimonda. That's what will make our decision. If they get bailed out, we will fight only if Xavier will be allowed to get paid during the fight (no unemployment). A judge decides that before you start the law suit. You file a petition and it takes 2 weeks for a judge to say yay or nay to remain working for the company during the law suit. We feel in our souls that we need to fight this one. There is a time to learn how to fight and experience fighting. I think this is it. Our goal is to 1: buy time in order to both look and find a job 2: get our pension that was part of the original negotiation when Xavier was first hired. Xavier has been looking for jobs now for about 3 mos and hasn't found anything yet. He is worried about having to take a pay cut and not being able to find a job before money runs out.

Having children makes everything much more complicated. The kids are finally stable and in a good situation. They go to a great kindergarten and uprooting them again will hurt Anais badly, I think. We have very little desire to uproot again. The mere thought just gives me stress. Moving to Germany has been one of the WORST experiences of my life. I know what it means now to do it again and I really don'T want to. There is good and bad about every country, but moving from one country to the next is so daunting. In all honesty, I have much less complaints about Germany, than I do about the US. Our neighbors in Austin were a surrogate family for me and moving away from them hurt me the most. I cannot get close to anyone here because of the language barrier. It is very isolating. I'm not sure what would make me happy anymore. I feel as though travelling has made me completely spoiled and now I'm too exigent where there is no perfect fit. Family, ocean, mtns, sandy beach, nature, sunshine, good food, good social, 6 weeks vacation, good schools, excellent cheap kindergarten, good health, low cost of living, nice affordable house, capacity to have an actual retirement at 60, quick access to my family in Chicago and Xavier's family in France. Oh, and being able to communicate would be nice. If any of you know the answer to this, please let me know. We also want to raise the kids in a French/English school environment. Germany fits into many of those criterion.

Anais is now requesting to watch our American movies and cartoons in German and when she plays make-believe by herself, she speaks in German. I guess that's normal. I've learned that my children's capacity to socialize is directly related to my capacity to socialize, which I have been doing very poorly since we've been here. I have to make an effort now to socialize with specific friends of my children and their parents. I don't make much effort currently and that is my fault. I need to have goals to invite a kid for each of mine over to our house 1X a week. Austin seems to have tons of friends in kindergarten, which surprises me. He seems very popular, especially with the girls. It makes me feel very good and very proud.

We went to a party last sunday at one of Xavier's french friend's house. He is divorced and came to germany to escape his meltdown with his wife. Anyway his kids are already grown and he has another french girlfriend whose in the same situation roughly as he his. Anyway he saw Xavier Monday after the party and told Xavier that I was a great mom and really stable emotionally and with my head in the right place. I think that is the greatest compliment I've had since I can remember. As parents we do our best, but we're always afraid of really screwing up our kids or hurting them unintentionally. I love my family very much and they are the most important in my life. I just want everyone to be well-rounded, happy and healthy. I think when you are well-rounded, then you will be healthy and happy. It's hard to maintain balance. We struggle with that all the time.

Other family news: Anais joined the choir at kindergarten. I think she will be singing in a X-mas concert at the school on Dec 18. I signed both kids up yesterday to bake x-mas cookies at the school. They seemed to really enjoy that. The kindergarten also has a kid parlament where each group has representatives that vote representing the children's interests. It's a nice idea, but I have no idea how it actually works.

Nikki is totally huge. He must weigh now at least 8 kilos. He'll turn 6 mos on the 8th of Dec and is already wearing clothes for a 12 month old, but that might be deceiving because my dryer shrinks everything. I have to buy 1-2 shirt sizes bigger for all the kids, in order for them to be shrunk to the right size for the kids. Nikki laughs a lot and eats a lot. I give him solid dinners now at night. I read Anais a story last night in bed and Nikki seemed to enjoy it more than Anais. He was touching all over the book, really looking at the pictures and trying to eat it. He can grab things very well now and holds stuff in his hands. He can grab his pacifier and put it into his mouth. He seems to be able to express himself pretty well. I believe he tries to say mama. When he cries for me, sometimes he says ma ma ma ma. I think he is beautiful and very smart. He loves his bath and adores being taken care of by both Anais and Austin. Anais gives Nikki lots of attention. She helps me feed him at night and likes to take his bath with him. She sits next to him in the car and is patient when he cries, whereas Austin yells "stop crying" at Nikki. Nikki plays with toys now. If they light up and make noise, he's very happy. He enjoys his walker and is just learning to move forwards instead of just backwards. I think he is very smart. When I took him into the doctor for his second set of shots, he laid on the bed and took one look at the doctor and immediately started crying. It appeared as though he knew what was coming. Last time we went to the doctor, Anais had a 5 yr development check-up. The doctor asked Anais to hop sideways back and forth over a line on the floor and she started hopping to show what she wanted Anais to do. I was sitting in the chair with Nikki on my lap and he just started cracking up when he saw the doctor hop back and forth over this line. It was hilarious. He was at most 5 mos old at the time. It was sweet. We all had a good laugh.

I think that's it for news here. The English class in already filled to start next month. I asked to have an option for a third class. I want all kids to have the option to take the English class. I'm afraid people won't push because it's already full. The list was full within the first week it got posted. I ordered a book yesterday to help me with this class. We'll see if it's any good. My syllabus is all set from last year. I might try to vary it a bit this yr.

I hope you are all well for x-mas and the new year. We are staying home this yr in an intimate family set up. Xavier's parents wanted us to come to Maubeuge. Xavier's sister was going there as well the day after x-mas. We cannot handle the stress of all those people in one house. We cannot afford a Gite this yr so we would have to stay there. I cannot handle my in-laws fighting and Daniel getting drunk. Xavier agreed it would be too stressful. We decided to stay here. I think his parents are angry so they don't want to come here, they would rather stay in Maubeuge alone if that ends up being the case. When they come here the same issues just extend under our roof. Yvette takes control of my kitchen and she cooks great, but then we're forced to spend every bloody day waiting on Yvette to cook. She never cooks on time and the kids are always hungry. We end up eating btw 1-2 PM. Dinner is at earliest 7 PM. It's a nightmare. The kids need to be in bed by 7:30PM in order to get up on time for school. Our schedule gets all screwed up because we have to go on Yvette's schedule. I've tried to make her comply to ours, but it ends up being all out war and in the end it just isn't worth the fight. I still lose the fight in my own home anyway. I've learned a long time ago to give up control right away when Yvette comes. It's the easiest way to go. When the kids get hungry, I send them to Yvette. IF she wants to cook twice because she won't eat at the kid's schedule, that's her problem. I refuse to cook twice. That was the source of one of our first wars. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother-in-law as much as a daughter-in-law can. I appreciate her good qualities and we actually do get along. However, not sure how much that is saying. If I am capable of getting along with Anglika (even after months of serious dislike), the teacher of the kids pre-school in Linden, a Bavarian village, then as far as I'm concerned, I can get along with just about anyone. It was hard to get along and to accept Angelika for all her ignorance and bull-headedness.

I hope all of you have a wonderful x-mas. If anyone feels like popping over to Munich over the holidays let us know. We will surely be here.