News: We're Moving to France

wrote some long winded blog for the beginning of may, but didn't send out the link to anyone. new course of info. xavier accepted a job as setting up project mgt in the south of France for a nuclear fusion research thing. it is in an area called cadarache, about 20 km north of aix-en-provence, near marseille. It's in a large area generally known as provence. it's about 1 hr drive to the mediterranean. kids will be able to go to a beach that actually has sand. here the closest sandy beach is in Italy. I haven't had the chance to visit much of ITaly, I'm sorry to say. There are places to visit like the Dolomites and the Adriatic coast. We drove through Tuscany once and it was really beautiful. I wouldn't mind living there. The south of france is supposed to be one of the best parts of france, so I'm happy. I visited Aix-en-Provence once 10 yrs ago and I really liked it as far as cities go. It was clean, sunny, warm and bourgeois, what's there not to like?

Xavier already left. He signed the contract a week ago monday and took off that saturday. I am staying behind with the kids mainly because we haven't found anything to rent yet. We have to pay 3 mos notice here which brings me to the end of July. I figure I will move anytime btw the end of June and July. I've agreed to work here the last week in may and the first 2 weeks in june. It will be very hard now that Xavier is gone. I have no back up and I have to get to munich somehow and find a nanny for Nikki. Travelling, the Nanny, and the extra hours in kindergarten for anais and austin are basically costing me what I will earn in income. But for me it is important to try to see how it goes. This scenario has been one of my biggest fears about going back to work, trying to figure out how to get it all together.

So, will let you know when we have an address. Not sure if Xavier can come back and visit or not. It'S very hard on him. He misses the kids and is very sad not to see them. He is going to miss Nikki's 1st b-day and Anais' 6th b-day. We will also miss his 41st b-day and our 7th wedding anniversary. Apparently June is a very busy month for our family. Austin keeps asking about dad and I think he misses him a lot. I call Xavier at night when the kids go to bed so they can say goodnight to him. I try to explain the situation to them, but I'm not sure how much they understand. So far, nothing has changed much for them except papa is away.

We are not sure if it will be cheaper to rent or to buy, so we'll have to wait and see. If we can buy, then I would. I don't need to see the house to buy it, I don't really care. I do however care about the taxes. They supposedly have some new tax saving laws specific to housing, like you only get rebates when redoing the inside, or building new, or adding on an extra room. It's important that we will be able to rent it out later if and when we decide to move, that's my other main concern.

It's kind of sad to leave now. My German is finally getting good enough that I'm comfortable expressing myself and for the first time in about 4 years, I actually feel like myself. I have finally integrated into the culture and have friends. Now I have to learn how to write properly. You can wing speaking but not writing. Still it has been the first time I'm sort of on my own and it's a nice change. I thought that I'd be more responsible and more proactive and lead my life instead of feeling like I'm waiting. It's hard to have no back up, but it's also a good education. I thought I'd be more stressed or sad, but I feel kind of free. I did start to cry before Xavier left, for about 30 seconds and then I thought "hey why am I crying? I knew this day would come, so why not just try to make the most of this situation?" I think I'm going to be totally stressed when I will be working, so we'll see. All that will happen right in the middle of anais and nikki's b-days. That's going to be rough. normal moms do this kind of thing all the time. not sure how they cope? here they call it "power frau."

What we consider in the states to be "super moms" here is just considered normal ordinary housewife. All moms volunteer with the schools, some are crossing guards, some work part time. All drive their kids to sports and pay for music school or ballet lessons, ski lessons, horseback riding lessons, and swimming lessons. I signed Anais up for gymnastics 1x week at the turnhalle, and 1 X normal indoor sports at the turnhalle so she could go with her friends Magnus and Martha. I also had Austin 1X per week at the turnhalle at the same time as anais. The Turnhalle thing was hell because I had to sit there and wait with nikki and bring snacks and all that. 1 hour sports meant 3 hrs of stress for me. when anais didn't want to go to the turnhalle anymore, I was pretty psyched.

All moms cook for the school festivals or volunteer to work during the festivals and make all homemade goodies from scratch. no one buys instant cake mixes. that would be a travesty. when your kid has a birthday in kindergarten, you better bring a homemade something to school to celebrate. "super moms" don't like keeping their kids in school or kindergarten for too long lengths of time. They like their kids to come home at lunch so they can feed them. Here the biggest meal is lunch. That's when you really cook. That means your freedom ends at 11 because you have to cook lunch so the kids can eat at noon. I don't have the super mom thing. At least, not on purpose. I make homemade food for the kids on their birthdays because the minimum bar is raised so darn high, it'S the least I gotta do. I sign up to bake for the festivals, because I certainly don't want to work selling cake and because like 50 people sign up to bake and it's a lot of pressure to take part. I taught the English course at the school because I was really the best qualified person to do it, since I'm the only native English speaker and I thought it would help my resume, give me some experience since before then I had none and give me a little weight to help get Austin into the kindergarten this year because I'm out of district and don't normally have a prayer getting into this awesome kindergarten. I taught the English class again this year because it was the least I could do to say thanks for getting Austin into this school and I promised them last year I would do it again, plus it's fun. "Super moms" and "Power Fraus" That's being a mom in Germany.